First of all happy fathers day, to all the dad's, even mine. Tim became a dad at 23, seems young huh? 14 months later he became a single dad. Thank goodness for his parents, they would be just as much my parents as Tim.
My dad taught me a lot, I can doctor an animal, bait a hook, shoot almost any gun, track most animals, plant a garden, butcher my own meat, change oil and even turn a wrench. He tried.
I won't say he was loving, I'm not even sure if he loved me, he never said. He didn't give out hugs, or pats on the back. He tried though, he worked hard. Punished hard. Lived hard. 3 marriages...
I wasn't an easy teen, I was angry by 13, I'd been beaten, abandoned and I was mad. His job was to protect me, and in my eyes he failed. Even when he tried I think, he failed. He didn't save me from the woman who went bump in the night, usually using my head to make the noise. Until I was 13 I thought he didn't know about the nightmare I lived, but when I found out he did I was mad. If that's even close to the right word. I rebelled in true teenage fashion he fought back in true hard ass fashion. If he hit me, I shut down more. If he told family how horrible I was omitting his breaking belts on me, I rebelled more. It was a never ending battle of the wills. Still is to this day.
For over 20 years he and I have carried our grudges, him mad he couldn't break my will, me mad he tried.
I know this makes me sound bitter, sorry I in some ways always will be. I've actually gotten to where I appreciate, that he tried. He'll never be the dad that gives hugs, or walks me down any aisle, but he's my daddy. So this fathers day I thank him, for trying, for doing his best, and encourage all dad's to do your best. Learn from other dad's short comings and be more. Happy fathers day.
Sunday, June 17, 2018
Friday, June 8, 2018
Day 2... The Craziness continues
Good morning world! Morning since I had kids during the summer has quickly become my favorite time of day. A good cup of coffee, the sun coming up and the mourning doves, best of all sleeping happy tiny humans. No fighting, no one asking for snacks, no one crying. Just peaceful snoring.
Mornings help me appreciate what I often forget to notice. I appreciate the million roses on my once thought doomed rose bush. I notice the tomatoes blooming and just take it all in. What an amazing world we live in.
Of course I also notice things like, the yard needing mowed, the mishmosh weirdo bush by my garage trying to take over the planet, that thing won't die... I've tried it now appears it may win...
On today's agenda? Mow the yard, avoiding all non-legged creepy crawlers at all costs... p.s. the cat brought one of those things that will not be named IN MY HOUSE, I may need to move. Weed eat around everything that stands still. Take a hack saw to that bush (I will win!) Fire up the smoker! I love my smoker btw, if you haven't invested in one you should.
Send kids to pool, spray yard for mosquitos and make sun tea. Pretty much cram a weeks worth of chores into a day.
First though... more coffee, I heard someone rustle and soon the chaos will ensue and my coffee will get cold before I get it drank.
Mornings help me appreciate what I often forget to notice. I appreciate the million roses on my once thought doomed rose bush. I notice the tomatoes blooming and just take it all in. What an amazing world we live in.
Of course I also notice things like, the yard needing mowed, the mishmosh weirdo bush by my garage trying to take over the planet, that thing won't die... I've tried it now appears it may win...
On today's agenda? Mow the yard, avoiding all non-legged creepy crawlers at all costs... p.s. the cat brought one of those things that will not be named IN MY HOUSE, I may need to move. Weed eat around everything that stands still. Take a hack saw to that bush (I will win!) Fire up the smoker! I love my smoker btw, if you haven't invested in one you should.
Send kids to pool, spray yard for mosquitos and make sun tea. Pretty much cram a weeks worth of chores into a day.
First though... more coffee, I heard someone rustle and soon the chaos will ensue and my coffee will get cold before I get it drank.
Thursday, June 7, 2018
Still day 1: to define crazy...
So how has your morning gone? Daily chores? Coffee? Breakfast? Mine, three 4 yr old boy melt downs, because dinosaur train isn't on. A tiny human packing himself in my luggage. Nagging from the 8 year old about going to the pool. "After our chores can we go?" 3 seconds later "It's going to be hot, we should really go to the pool." 3 seconds later "I should brush my hair and put my swimming suit on, the pool opens soon." 8 year olds could nag the hair off an actual nag. My 16 year old is currently preparing to go on the roof... cat stuck in a cord for the satellite dish.... 17 year old has already taken 50 selfies (Who needs to see your face that many times by 10:30 am?)
Are you catching onto my crazy life? Never a dull moment, not one. My days off are filled with 1000 little moments that make me laugh cry and use wtf as a common term. My best friend once said kids will make you say things normal people don't every day, (don't use the cat as a machine gun). She was accurate beyond belief.
16 year old survived the roof, cat was very grateful to be saved. Dog is angry his girl smells like a cat... 8 year old has nagged 5 more times about the pool, and can't find the hair brush, I look at it every time she asks where it is, she's not catching on and I'm not telling, it's a battle of the wills now. 17 year old is up to 70 selfies... she may do her make up soon to look better for them, yes that's a thing too... I need more coffee... they don't make enough, oh and dinosaur train still isn't on, I'm about to call pbs and let the 4 year old file a complaint.
Are you catching onto my crazy life? Never a dull moment, not one. My days off are filled with 1000 little moments that make me laugh cry and use wtf as a common term. My best friend once said kids will make you say things normal people don't every day, (don't use the cat as a machine gun). She was accurate beyond belief.
16 year old survived the roof, cat was very grateful to be saved. Dog is angry his girl smells like a cat... 8 year old has nagged 5 more times about the pool, and can't find the hair brush, I look at it every time she asks where it is, she's not catching on and I'm not telling, it's a battle of the wills now. 17 year old is up to 70 selfies... she may do her make up soon to look better for them, yes that's a thing too... I need more coffee... they don't make enough, oh and dinosaur train still isn't on, I'm about to call pbs and let the 4 year old file a complaint.
Day 1...or day 16,429...
So I've often considered starting a blog, but who wants to read the thoughts in my head? Who wants to hear about my crazy days, where children crash into eachother while walking, and cats have kittens in my undie drawer (every time same spot). Maybe no one, maybe someone, but here goes either way.
Day 1 as a blogger, day 16,429 as a living human in this big beautiful world. Mom of seven, yes 7. No I'm not insane, or a welfare mom, or an expletive that rhymes with hut. I am just me and life happens. Did I plan to be a mom to 7? Nope. Would I change it? Not one second of it. You'll get to know them if you follow my posts, and hopefully understand why I needed each of them to teach me about the world.
Factory worker changing the world. Yes I feel that way, I work for a pretty amazing company. BD... Becton Dickinson to the world. I make medical supplies, test tubes to be specific now, I used to make diabetic insulin needles (how cool are both jobs)? Well, maybe not for some but for me I like it. If I make 400,000 tubes a day I touch 400,000 lives. That's pretty amazing in my eyes.
38 year old woman: or perma 21 if you ask my kids. Yes, I'm 38, and I live it. My childhood was rough, my teens a night mare. My 20s a roller coaster, my late 30s I've found me. I've accepted me, and finally like me. I'm mouthy, reserved, shy, insecure, confident, brave, scared, funny, serious, beautiful, and plain. If that's not a mouthful I don't know what is. I've finally learned to appreciate sunrises, and sunsets, the smell of baking bread, and coffee. Which leads us to...
Coffee and nicotine: Coffee omg my life blood, without it I'm not a functioning human. My aunt's house always smelled like fresh brewed coffee and laundry detergent, my comfort smells. Is there anything better? Nicotine, yes, I smoke, yes, I know it's horrible for me, so are the antidepressants and mood enhancers I'd surely need if I didn't smoke. No your approval isn't needed. If I quit, I'll let you know. Until then know one of my favorite smoking quotes is, "If I didn't smoke, I'd take up homicide". Back to coffee, I'll talk about it a lot, I love it, it loves me, enough said.
I think that covers me for now. You'll get to know more in future posts, more about my life, my kids, the chaos that is my life. It's a beautiful ride, enjoy it.
Day 1 as a blogger, day 16,429 as a living human in this big beautiful world. Mom of seven, yes 7. No I'm not insane, or a welfare mom, or an expletive that rhymes with hut. I am just me and life happens. Did I plan to be a mom to 7? Nope. Would I change it? Not one second of it. You'll get to know them if you follow my posts, and hopefully understand why I needed each of them to teach me about the world.
Factory worker changing the world. Yes I feel that way, I work for a pretty amazing company. BD... Becton Dickinson to the world. I make medical supplies, test tubes to be specific now, I used to make diabetic insulin needles (how cool are both jobs)? Well, maybe not for some but for me I like it. If I make 400,000 tubes a day I touch 400,000 lives. That's pretty amazing in my eyes.
38 year old woman: or perma 21 if you ask my kids. Yes, I'm 38, and I live it. My childhood was rough, my teens a night mare. My 20s a roller coaster, my late 30s I've found me. I've accepted me, and finally like me. I'm mouthy, reserved, shy, insecure, confident, brave, scared, funny, serious, beautiful, and plain. If that's not a mouthful I don't know what is. I've finally learned to appreciate sunrises, and sunsets, the smell of baking bread, and coffee. Which leads us to...
Coffee and nicotine: Coffee omg my life blood, without it I'm not a functioning human. My aunt's house always smelled like fresh brewed coffee and laundry detergent, my comfort smells. Is there anything better? Nicotine, yes, I smoke, yes, I know it's horrible for me, so are the antidepressants and mood enhancers I'd surely need if I didn't smoke. No your approval isn't needed. If I quit, I'll let you know. Until then know one of my favorite smoking quotes is, "If I didn't smoke, I'd take up homicide". Back to coffee, I'll talk about it a lot, I love it, it loves me, enough said.
I think that covers me for now. You'll get to know more in future posts, more about my life, my kids, the chaos that is my life. It's a beautiful ride, enjoy it.
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